Social Issue: Parenting/Abuse

Well, I grew up on the Westside of Chicago, Illinois. My mom was a single parent for a while when I was growing up. My mom was a good parent-- she was very stern but never abused my two brothers or me in any way. She was a good mom and I always felt protected. We were poor and grew up on public aid, food stamps, and my mom cleaned houses and did day labor. She was gone a lot, but she always made sure we had food, clean clothes and a warm clean apartment. She was a strict disciplinarian (back in them days the late50’s to early 60’s mothers didn’t spare the rod-- if you know what I mean). When she said something, all she needed was to give us that look, and we all knew what that meant. My mom then met my step-dad when I was maybe 8 or 9. He loved my mother so…. He provided for us and gave my mom everything she ever wanted. We had a good life. I felt protected with them all my life. I was never abused, harmed or mistreated. I got everything I asked for materially and never felt that I could not go to them for anything. My mom was my best friend and, I could tell her any and everything. In my growing up, none of my friends or anyone I knew had been molested by their parents. I didn’t know that sexual abuse existed in our community--it wasn’t around me. I remember neighbors looking out for people when I was a child, so I always felt safe and secure. I didn’t know it was so bad in our community until I became an adult. Anyway, the story is my mom did not play and would not have allowed anyone to harm me-- which I knew. Plus she told me and I know my step-dad knew that as well. Unfortunately I no longer have that sense of protection that my parents were so good about giving me (my mom passed away in 2005 and my step-dad in 2009—oh how I miss them so).

So why do mothers (of all people) let their husbands, man, friend or family member abuse/molest their child? I have an issue with our black families, when fathers abandon their children, or molest their children. What is up with that? What makes a man or women abuse a child, especially their own? Maybe it happened to them in their childhood? That still doesn’t make it right. Where does the cycle stop? We have a problem within our black community where we sweep everything under the rug without speaking out to someone about it. Why are we so afraid to air our dirty laundry? Why do we paint the picture that all is well at home when we know it isn’t? What’s wrong with our mothers, that allow our children to be abused and mistreated by a no good man.

Why do we as black people have so many children and then expect the government to take care of them? Why can’t we just use the appropriate precautions and say to ourselves that we won’t have anymore babies if we can’t afford them? Ultimately it is the child that suffers in the end. Why do we make our young daughters bare a child when we know they can’t take care of it? Why is it acceptable to be a grandmother in your 30’s? Why do we think that if our daughter’s abort the child then we have sinned— why is it right to submit a child to violence, drugs, poverty and promiscuity? (And the line “The Lord will make a way” is wearing thin) Isn’t it a sin to promote/encourage detrimental behavior? What happened to a good, nuclear family structure where there is a husband and wife, with strong values and morals? Let’s wake up my black people! Let’s teach our children to respect themselves and adults. Let someone give you some good advice on how you can better raise your child. Let someone mentor you on being a good parent. Parents drop your pride and search inside yourself to find out how/why you dropped the ball. Lots of parents need help in parenting. Reach out for help… stop… stop hiding behind the darkness and enter into the light. Let’s take a look at ourselves and look around to see what a mess we are in. Come on black people, start changing your ways. Let me hear from you…